You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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