i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How does one acquire holy water?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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