ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Ketchup is God's man juice
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
don't judge my taste in strippers
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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