IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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