I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
