I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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