I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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