1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
