i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
NoShamevember. You game?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
