My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
