she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
