He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
