Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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