Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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