eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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