So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
