It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
