i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
