see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
