i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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