i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize