I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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