why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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