how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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