If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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