my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
