Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
