She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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