dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
