Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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