i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
