Screwed.edu
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
