one two three fourrrrnication!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
