Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
