No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
