On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
