I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
