your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
