I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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