Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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