I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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