The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
