hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
