my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
