awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
