Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize