So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
