I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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