suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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