Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
