I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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