I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
