i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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