I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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