You just made me feel so damn special
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
