just tell him i said nine months
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
