The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
