Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize