dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
