I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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