apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
