Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
