The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
