i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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