I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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