i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
