i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
