Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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